Since 1970, the Federal Witness Protection Program
has relocated thousands of witnesses,
some criminal, some not,
to neighborhoods all across the country.
Every one of those individuals shares a unique attribute
distinguishing them from the rest of the general population.
And that is, somebody wants them dead.
As you know, my friend has been quite ill.
One day, he's the picture of health,
the next, he's contracted a terminal case of pain in my ass.
So, I only pray he doesn't linger.
Yeah. You know what? I'm not a doctor,
but it sounds to me like your friend, he could be gone
by the end of the week.
Do you mind holding this for me, please? Thanks.
So, uh, anyway...
Uh-huh. ... your boss, Lola, right?
Uh, Lola's not... Yeah, not my boss.
She's my client. I negotiate all of her...
All of her deals for her.
Sure.
Could I meet her? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.
But, uh, be the...
...last person you ever meet.
Okay. So I will meet you here on Tuesday
after your friend passes for the rest.
Uh, same time.
Hey. Don't you want to count it?
Why? If it's short, your friend lives and you don't.
FBI, smart ass.
Half caf, triple cap, heavy foam.
Who died? What?
Can't one co-worker treat another co-worker
to a complicated coffee beverage?
Not when that person is you. You are not a treater.
It's not a criticism, just an observation.
Fair enough. Give me 3.50.
You didn't tip?
They pour coffee, they're not waiters.
Inspectors. Let's go.
Coming, darling. Be there in a minute.
It's a triple macchiato for Stan. Get four bucks.
"Dear Mr. Mann, in light of your impressive law enforcement background,
"we'd be honored to have you join the Peterson team
"as we mentioned in your interview. "
So, the guy you're transporting is Horst Vanderhof.
Works for a high-priced contract killer named Lola.
As what? Her pool boy? Butler? Bullet holder?
Apparently, he negotiates her contracts, collects fees, etcetera.
So, anyway,
this Lola has a couple dozen bodies to her credit,
including two judges. And up until now, she's been a ghost.
And this guy Vanderhof may be the only person alive that can ID her.
So, needless to say, the Feds are pretty anxious
to find out what he knows.
It says he's from New York. How'd he wind up in Perryville?
Well, the FBI popped him negotiating a hit
on a Ruidoso businessman.
The deal went down five miles from the prison,
so it just made sense.
So, he ID's this Lola in exchange for Witness Protection?
That seems to be the plan. Sounds pretty straightforward.
When do they need him here?
Agents are coming down from Santa Fe sometime after 6:00,
so say 7:00.
But give yourselves plenty of time.
A guy got killed at the prison yesterday.
Totally unrelated, but still, security is tight.
Fine.
What's with the mood?
I have no idea.
Oh, wait. She wanted me to get four bucks for the coffee.
Oh. Well, that's...
I'll tell you what. Give her five.
She likes when she comes out ahead.
Hey.
Okay, obviously you want me to go on a fishing expedition
to figure out what the hell is bothering you.
But I'm not going to play that. So, when you decide
to tell me what's wrong, you just tell me.
Fair enough? Fair enough?
Don't worry about it. In a couple of months,
we won't even be working together.
Opening two! Clear! You read my letter.
Easy there, meat and potatoes.
I'm a valuable Federal resource.
Horst Vanderhof for transport.
Thanks.
Oh, great.
Two more minimum-wage geniuses.
Are the Feds trying to get me killed?
Do you people have any idea who Lola is?
Hey, watch it there, pervoid. I don't swing that way.
I can't believe you read my mail.
Well, you don't know I always read your mail.
He's diabetic? Type 1.
Last page of the medical.
Yeah, that's my personal stuff.
Get a number. I did. Twenty minutes ago.
Test again. I need to know you're fit to travel.
She needs to know everything about everybody.
I can tell. She's been undressing me with her eyes
ever since I walked out here.
Yeah, because pasty accountant types really get me crazy.
Oh, now, that's just unkind.
So, were you ever going to tell me?
Or was the plan just to let me figure it out
when you stopped showing up for work?
Actually, I was going to write a letter
and then mail it to myself.
That way, I'd be sure you got the news.
Hmm.
Staying alive at 105.
You know, please don't act like you're the injured party here, okay?
At least show me that much respect.
Respect? When have you ever shown me respect?
Or anyone else for that matter?
This is fun.
Maybe you'd get respect if you ever actually did something to earn it.
And you wonder why I didn't share my future plans with you.
No. What I wonder is why I put up with your
insipid running commentary for the past three years.
Come on. Let's go.
3- to-1, I'm dead before we get to the car.
Yeah, brains blown out all over the parking lot.
And then the two most annoying people on the planet
bickering over my lifeless corpse.
Relax, Horst. No one knows who you are,
where you are, or where you're going.
Give me the keys. I'm driving.
Try not to drive like you stole it.
Yeah?
Bye, sweetie. I'm off to work. Love you.
Okay.
Do you want me to drive you around?
And leave you in a hot car while I hock concealers?
What kind of a mother would I be?
The same kind you've always been.
Heard that. Don't stay in bed all day.
We have a scheduled stop in about 45 minutes.
Well, I need to go wee-wee right now.
Hey, hold it in or hang it out the window
'cause we're not stopping.
You know, your job transfer
is really starting to make sense to me.
Water, juice. Anything else?
I'll get my own, thanks.
I wasn't talking to you.
Hey, organic.
Can you see if they have organic?
It's a gas station, numbnuts.
Hey, how about these cuffs?
No can do. How am I supposed to wipe?
You said you had to pee.
Yeah, well, I like to keep my options open.
Either way, no can do.
It's all yours, chief.
You're too kind.
Oh, come on. You're kidding me.
It's how we roll.
Yet another indignity
suffered at the hands of the man. Boy!
And that boss of yours, she's a piece of work, isn't she?
She's not my boss, we're equals.
Yeah. Right.
I mean, it's none of my business,
but how do you put up with that, huh?
You're right, it's none of your business.
I mean, admit it. She is one of the angriest,
most controlling, most toxic women I've ever encountered,
and I work for a female assassin.
Uh-oh.
No worries. I got it.
Here you go, honey. Thanks.
Have a great day. You, too.
Trust me, my friend,
men pay good money to get rid of a woman like that.
Hey, you know, I hate to have to ask,
but these cuffs are making it kind of difficult.
Do you think you could help me out with my zipper?
Oh. Isn't this awkward.
I was going to tell you. Really? When?
I just wanted to... I should probably check in with Stan.
Don't bother. Those mountains are full of iron.
Wreaks havoc with the radio signals.
God damn it.
It's no big deal. We're right on schedule.
No. Look at the dash.
Oh, boy.
Better pull over before the engine seizes.
Oh, fabulous.
So I get to spend even more time with my new favorite couple.
Oh, my God.
Hi, precious.
Hey. What are you doing, bruin?
You know, just schlepping my wares in this God-awful heat.
Oh. Poor baby. You must be miserable.
You know, work is work.
And I made a commitment to this thing.
Oh, and I am so proud of you
for keeping that commitment.
Oh, thank you, sweetie.
I'm talking to my daughter.
Uh-huh. Can I get you something, miss?
Sure. I'll have what she's having.
Hello, Mommy.
Brandi.
What are you doing here?
Don't you think that's a better question for you?
Pop the hood. I'll take a look.
My God.
You see anything?
Hang on. It's complicated under here.
We've got company! Get on the floor, Horst.
What did you say?
Marshall!
Marshall, take cover!
Well, that was...
Marshall.
Marshall. Marshall.
Oh, my God. Can you hear me?
I must have bumped my head.
Yeah, that's what happened. And then you fell on a bullet.
Huh?
Doofus, you got shot.
Oh, crap.
Nothing. It's the hills.
No, don't anybody worry about me,
the guy you're supposed to be protecting.
Wait, I'm gonna kill him. Shut up and get back in the car!
Here. Hold this on your wound.
He's... He's right. It's my fault.
Back at the rest stop.
She dropped a bottle under the car.
I watched him take it out, but he must have
smeared some kind of acid on the radiator hose.
I looked, but I didn't see anything.
Okay. Come on. We've got to try to get you up.
We've got to get you to the hospital.
You're mad, aren't you? Not as mad as I'd be
if I was the one who got shot.
I respect your honesty.
Where the hell is that gas station?
Damn it.
Come on. Come on!
It's okay. It's okay.
In about four hours,
every cop in the universe will be looking for us.
Yeah, but can you hang on that long?
I'm breathing and I haven't bled out,
which means no vital organs have been hit.
So, yeah. Maybe.
But this car's about to turn into a pizza oven.
We should find some shade. Yes. Okay.
You know what? Speaking of pizza, I am so hungry.
Do you guys have anything? Chips? Anything, really.
Hmm?
What am I, your pack mule?
Listen. We'll take it slowly.
Get the tube that connects to the windshield wiper fluid.
Okay. Why?
We're going to need it.
...and it shouldn't take that long to come up with the truth.
Fine, fine, fine. You remember Dan?
Dan, the one-eyed freak?
Reeked of cigars and Old Spice? Tough to forget.
His dog ate my samples.
A dog?
Yes.
Ate your samples?
Oh, Jesus. I actually believe you.
Mary doesn't know yet.
I still owe her $2500.
What am I going to do?
Oh, my God. Oh, she is going to fry your ass.
Maybe I should just tell her.
Are you nuts? No.
All right, that is the last thing that you should do.
First, she'll kill you, and then she'll kick you out,
and you'll probably wind up living with me and Chuck. No.
No, no, no.
No, no, no. Okay, we must never tell Mary.
That was Lola, wasn't it?
What do you think, genius?
Can you stand by yourself? I think so.
Good.
Thank you.
You're way past the point of cracking wise, little man.
I'm trying to save your miserable life,
so answer my goddamn questions before I get angry,
you festering pustule.
All right. Look, I don't know if that was Lola.
I've never actually met her.
What? You told the Feds you could ID her.
No. I said I could deliver her.
We always conducted our business on the phone.
Now, would you please get off of me?
You're not exactly petite, you know.
Oh, God!
What do you think?
I think if that was Lola,
she knows this is her only shot at Mr. Personality
before he talks to the Feds.
In other words, she's coming back.
That's pretty funny for a guy with a sucking chest wound.
I know.
Oh, sweet.
Come on, Mom. Quit crying and think.
I am thinking.
I'm thinking about how screwed I am.
Oh.
What about a cash advance on a credit card?
Maxed out. All of them.
All right, just let me think.
Sir? What?
How much would you pay to sleep with my mother?
Brandi!
What? Mom, you've got to be willing to think outside the box.
Oh, wait.
That's it. Your box.
You mean... You mean my box of memories?
Desperate times call for
desperate people to do something desperate or something.
Absolutely not.
You have to.
No. I would rather die.
Oh, this...
Yeah, this place is going to do wonders for my allergies. Thanks.
You.
Okay. All right. Oh, come on.
There are going to be lawsuits aplenty, trust me on that.
Shut up.
Oh, geez.
Uh-oh.
How we doing?
Tension pneumothorax.
Oh, that's funny. I was just going to say that.
Tube thoracostomy.
Marshall, if I'm going to help you,
you need to speak English.
Get the tube from the car.
Right. Right. Okay.
Okay. Now, what? Marshall. Marshall.
Marshall? Marshall, wake up and tell me what to do.
Marshall!
Marshall. Marshall. Okay, Marshall, tell me.
Insert tube through bullet wound.
Second intercostal.
What?
Put the tube in the hole.
Okay. Okay.
I hope you know what you're doing.
Oh, I'll be damned.
Better.
Hand me a half-empty water bottle.
Okay.
Here you go.
Amazing.
It's a water seal.
Gravity and hydraulic pressure
allow air in the pleural space to escape,
but not to go back in.
What?
Relationships end, Brandi,
jewelry is forever.
Does Chuck buy you jewelry?
Yeah, right.
Well, he should.
Jewelry reminds a woman that she's
beautiful and cherished and loved.
Sometimes we forget these things.
Come on.
I can give you 200.
200,000? What?
That's very funny. No.
$200 for the lot.
Including the box.
What? What?
Is... Is this a joke?
No, it's actually quite generous.
Oh, my. You don't know.
Know what?
These jewels are all paste. They're fakes.
You're wrong. That's impossible.
I'm so sorry. I...
I don't understand.
You should go. You should shut up.
I'm not leaving you and a witness like sitting ducks.
Take him with you.
It's only a couple miles to the highway.
It's not going to happen. Forget it.
Come on. You know it's the right call.
I could go a lot faster without him.
Hey. You. No secrets.
You can't leave him with me. I can't protect him.
Why... Why are you looking at me like that?
You better not die.
I will try not to die. For you.
Stay. Okay, look.
This is for emergencies only.
If anyone comes back, you play dead. Understand?
Do I look like a hero to you?
I'll be back.
Let's go.
I need my medical bag.
Oh, here. Are you sure this is a good idea?
No. Actually, it's a terrible idea. Ow!
But what do you expect? It came from him.
Change of plans.
What? Sit.
Sit!
Our friends are back.
All three of them.
There are three of them, now?
Check that. All four of them.
We got 'em.
And they know we're here.
Okay, can you stand?
I think so. With a little help.
Okay, come on. Are you setting up an ambush?
If you think you can shoot.
I can shoot.
Okay. Good.
Good. Easy, easy.
Okay.
Come on, come on, come on, come on. Behind the bar.
What are you... What are you doing?
You've got to get me out of here.
Sorry, ace, that ship has sailed.
What? Oh, come on.
Come on, you can't chain me up. What if you two get killed?
Then it will be a sad day for everyone.
Sit down and be quiet.
Here's the layout. Four-wall, cinder-block box,
so I'll take the oblique angles on the front and back entrances, draw fire.
Anyone in through the front sees me first.
Wait till they're all the way in, then take a shot.
I know the drill. I know you do.
What about me? Do I get a gun?
No. No.
Huh?
They're just sitting there.
Probably waiting for nightfall.
Improve their cover.
So now we wait.
You know, I saw something like this once
in an old Glenn Ford movie, you know.
It did not end well.
Hey.
How you doing? You hanging in?
Aces.
Listen.
They used some kind of GPS to find us. I saw her use it.
Is that possible?
I don't know, but it's kind of academic at this point.
Maybe.
It will be dark soon.
You should try to get out then.
Yeah, we'll see.
Seriously. It's going to get ugly.
Look, it's a defendable position.
So, how come you didn't tell me?
Because I needed to make up my own mind.
And that's not always an option with you.
You know how you are.
I thought you loved this job.
I did. I do.
Well, what, then? Tell me.
Am I the reason you want to go?
Because of how I am?
No.
It has more to do with how I am.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe I'm getting the "It's not you, it's me" speech from you.
Am I really the reason you want to leave the Marshal Service?
No. Not exactly.
Oh.
I wish they'd come already.
Look.
It's nothing like what you think.
Oh, yeah?
Then you should probably explain
because I'm pretty confused.
I know you love the job, and I thought you...
I thought we were friends.
We are. You're my best friend.
Jesus, Marshall.
You're like my only friend.
I know. And you're like
my only friend.
So? Sounds like a pretty good arrangement. What's the problem?
The problem with us is...
Please just tell me.
I feel like I'm the keeper of this
exotic animal.
And I spend my time
either protecting you from the world,
or the world from you.
And it's just...
It's just a lot of responsibility.
I'm sorry.
But that's your job.
And you cannot quit.
Okay.
It's just a little blood. Nothing to worry about.
These are for, you know, in case I don't...
You know.
What's going on? What are you doing?
Just stay here till I get back.
Be careful.
What's she doing? Where's she going?
She's going to kill them...
...before they kill us.
Son of a bitch.
It all started out so well.
And then,
so many disappointments.
Seems impossible.
Odds-defying.
I mean, look at us.
No jobs. No money.
Not a scintilla of common sense between us.
If it weren't for Mary,
we'd be living in my Mercury.
To Mary.
Yeah, keep going. It's right after that.
I think she's very unhappy.
I can't do this anymore.
I won't.
Me, neither.
I have to let go of my disloyal past.
I have to
kick out the ghosts.
Joe, can I have a job here?
Yeah. Sure.
Oh, thanks.
Good evening, ladies,
and welcome to Jinx Shannon's fabulous fake jewel giveaway.
Behold the box
of false hope and phony memories. Here.
I like this for you. That looks good on you.
Well, come on. Dig in.
You all right? Yeah.
I didn't hear any gunplay. Did you chicken out?
Here's something interesting. The SUV we came in?
The front passenger side door was full of bullet holes.
Wow, what do you know? It's almost like there were
people shooting at us. Not us. Me.
There were no bullet holes in the back door where you were.
Not a single one. So?
So, explain to me why two shooters who obviously went to
a lot of trouble to find and kill you,
didn't take a single shot at you.
I haven't the faintest idea.
I think you do. No.
And I think I do, too. Hmm?
Huh? Gee! Ow!
Christ! What the hell is wrong with you?
Where is it? What are you doing?
Would you please stop feeling me up?
Where is it, Horst?
She had a tracking device that led straight to us.
Damn.
Hey. Hey, those are my personal medical supplies, all right?
You have no right going in there.
Is this it? Huh? Look...
Is this how they found us?
Be careful with that.
Be careful!
Oh. What do you know?
A GPS transmitter.
What? You're an electronics expert?
No, but I can read.
Oh. I have no idea
how that got in there. Yeah, well, just for grins,
let's pretend you do know, huh?
Now, we can both play this game.
Do you think this is really the best use of your time?
Humor me.
See how this flows. Obviously, you brought it into prison with you,
and obviously your friends used it to bust you out, as it were,
which seems to imply that you had the foresight
to plan your escape before you got arrested.
And how on God's green Earth could I do that?
Yeah, right, it doesn't make sense.
No, it doesn't make sense.
Unless...
You a Kinks fan?
Okay. The heat is getting to you.
Maybe you should just get a drink of water.
You know...
I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where she drinks champagne and it tastes just like cherry cola
Come again? I stopped listening after you went crazy.
It was a hit, wasn't it?
That guy who got killed at Perryville yesterday, that was a hit.
A brilliantly conceived and executed contract killing.
Oh, man.
I bet you got paid a boatload for that one, huh?
Please explain to me what you're talking about.
At least then, when I die, I'll know why.
You set yourself up to get arrested five miles from Perryville
because you had to get locked up there
so you could whack that guy from Ruidoso.
Oh, man. I've got to admit,
I really underestimated you, Horst.
Or should I say Lola?
All right. So, you've gone stark raving crazy.
And you're going to get us all killed.
Well, we're going to find out pretty quick
'cause here come your buddies.
What... What are you...
What are you doing? Hey!
There's no way we're letting you take him.
I don't want him. What are you, crazy?
Here's the deal. I give you Horst...
I mean, Lola, for the car.
Not a chance.
Fine. We'll shoot it out.
But I guarantee Mr. Personality here gets my first shot.
Just do as she says.
Good boy.
Now!
My partner's inside.
You two. In the chorus.
Go in and get him. Carefully put him in the backseat of the car.
Hurry up!
You two, get down in the dirt. Face down in the dirt.
Come on. Be careful. Be careful with him. Be careful with him!
Come on.
You shouldn't have shot my friend.
I've only got one friend.
Down on the ground.
Stay there.
Okay.
Okay. Okay. Let me go.
Great work, people.
Really top-notch stuff.
Now, we need to go to the road and steal another car.
Really, couldn't be happier.
And I'd really like to get these chains off!
Come on. Hang in there, Marshall. Hang in there.
Come on.
Yeah, Mary. What's up? Stan.
Stan, Marshall's been shot. Where are you?
About two miles from Route 66 and I-25.
I'll have a roadblock and an ambulance waiting.
Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
Lock it in. Over here, guys! Over here!
He's in the back! Over here!
Marshall, we made it.
Just hang in there, buddy. Okay? Hang in there.
Mary!
You okay? I'm fine. Stan, it's Marshall.
It's bad. It's really bad.
Okay. Well, you got him here alive, and they can do amazing things.
Okay? Yeah.
So, what do you want to do? Do you want to stay with him,
or do you want to go? Let's go.
All right.
Oh, no. Really?
Hello?
Hey, Horst.
Turn around.
Really, Jason?
Do you think you can outrun the highway patrol in a minivan? Hmm?
Pull over, you idiot! Pull over!
I told you, you shouldn't have shot my friend.
Cordon off all the way!
By the way, your fly has been down the whole time.
Hey, that Witness Protection deal.
Is that still on the table?
Nietzsche was right.
We come into this world alone and we go out of it alone.
Perhaps that explains why we spend our time here on Earth
so infuriatingly dependent on others.
It will be okay. Marshall, he's tough.
You have no idea.